As time goes on. A year later.

Break ups suck but that's just an under statement saying that. Feeling like all the rocks that were stable underneath me an hour ago, are crashing down all around, The sense of abandonment. Falling on every part of my body, not being able to hid for cover. Buried underneath all the rubble, thoughts begin to consumed. Why wasn't I enough to stay? Am I not good enough? How could I have handled that differently? What more could I have said so that he would have stayed? Will he be okay? Why can't I breathe? and the biggest doubt... I thought he loved me? I'm shattered into a million pieces, from the one I thought would always have my back. My mind is like an sinister record player that is on constant replay of him, it's a tsunami of emotions. Those freckles that scatter down his back. The glisten in his eyes when he talks about his sister. Times I would see him clench his fist, knowing he is battling a bad memory of his dad deep inside. Overwhelmed about a situation, casually slipping his hand across his mouth, not realizing that always made me weak in the knees. Listening to him sing, even if it was off tune, it always made me smile. A caual slip of his hand into mine, always warm and inviting. When my temper would get the best of me, he seemed to always know just a simple kiss would calm me down. Always fall asleep in his arms, hearing the soft beat of his lively heart. Knowing that I was safe and warm. Little did I know it would all be ripped away within a split second. Little did I know that, that disire would disappear from his eyes. It was so easy for him to throw me out, like a day old garbage.